I Can’t Do It All! How to Do More of the Things That Matter
Have you written your own obituary yet?
Ben… what on earth are you talking about?!?! Why would I be writing my own obituary?
This past weekend, I rewrote my obituary. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, check out THIS POST HERE where I show you the most powerful tool I know for transforming your life into one of purpose and clarity.
Starting with the end in mind is the most momentous way to start. Make sure your ladder is leaning against the right wall before you start climbing. That’s why I wrote my own ideal obituary. I want to dream as big as possible for my life and make sure that what I am doing today will get me there in the end! I’ve got to tell you… after I finished writing my obituary last night, I had tears welling up. And then I shared it with my wife… and we both cried. It wasn’t because it was sad. It was because it was so powerfully moving (although my wife did tell me she can’t imagine living without me). When (yes, when… because this exercise is so powerful, I STRONGLY encourage you to do it)… WHEN you write it, write it in such a way that it moves you to strong emotion.
Perhaps start by brainstorming. I did. I started by writing out 25 things that I absolutely wanted to do or be known for before I died. Turn that into a vision for your life (your IDEAL obituary) that is so compelling that it moves you to tears when you read it.
As I write this, my ideal obituary is sitting on my bedside stand. Is that morbid? Nope! It’s incredibly motivating! Why? It’s motivating because I realize I’ve got an enormous gap to fill between where I am today and where I want to be by the end of my life. And… I don’t know how much time I have. Time flies twice as fast as I think it should and things take twice as long as I think they should to accomplish. Therefore, I’ve got to get moving!
Learn to distinguish the “vital few from the trivial many.”
-Greg McKeown
That leads us into the next question: “How do I close that gap?” How do I get from where I am today to where I envision myself in 30…50…70 years? In my next post, I’m going to give you a tool to help you close that gap. I call it the Now2Next tool. But, before I give you that tool, I have to tell you a shocking truth. Here it is: you can’t do it all. You just can’t!
I had a memorable moment after I graduated radiology tech school over a decade ago. I had all sorts of big dreams and I wanted to lay them all out in front of some smart men so they could tell me how to accomplish them all. So, I assembled 3 or 4 Christian men, whom I really respected, and laid out my big, big plans (read… scattered, unfocused plans). Finally, one of the men (a wise doctor, who incidentally had helped train me) stopped me. He paused and said with great gravity, “Ben, you can’t do it all.” That has stuck with me through the years. Ben, you can’t do it all!
So, how do I know what TO do? How do I know what to say yes to AND even more importantly, what to say no to? Let me stop you right there. Have you really thought about how important saying NO is? Even though I aced my econ 101 class years ago, I remember very little of it. But one thing stuck with me—the concept of opportunity cost. Basically, opportunity cost is the idea that, when you say yes to something, you are saying no to everything else that might involve those resources (time, money, etc.). The application of opportunity cost is that what you say yes to, should be more valuable than the things you are, by default, saying no to.
If I want to work out and make a protein shake and take a shower before I leave for work, but I only have 20 minutes before I must leave, how does opportunity cost apply? I could say yes to the protein shake and shower and say no to the workout and be on time. Or, I could say yes to the workout, shower, and shake, and be late. I have to say no to something. By default, if I try to say yes to all of it, I say no to being on time. See? In many situations, we can’t do it all. In life, we can’t do it all. We need a filter for what to say no to and a guide for what to say yes to.
In my next post, I will give you the Now2Next tool, which will help you do just that. It will equip you to fill the gap between where you are today and where you see yourself in the inspiring, moving vision you wrote in your ideal obituary. It will equip you to know exactly what to put on your to-do list today to build toward that distant vision with momentum, purpose, and clarity. Stay tuned. I think you’re going to love it!
In the meantime, start looking at how you spend your time. Ask yourself, “What are the things I often spend time on that don’t add value to my life?” Start training yourself to say no to those low value timewasters so you can say yes to the more valuable things! As Greg McKeown puts it in his excellent book Essentialism, learn to distinguish the “vital few from the trivial many.” It’s not about getting more things done; it’s about getting the right things done. You can’t do it all and that’s ok. Learn to say yes to those things that move you closer to the ideal vision for your life and to say no to the things that detract from it. Don’t just agree with this… do it! Don’t just be a philosopher; be a practitioner. If you actually act on this, you are guaranteed to live a life of purpose and impact.