Bridging The Gap
How do you bridge the gap from where you are this moment to where you want to go?
Perhaps you are single and not even dating but you envision yourself happily married with a couple of happy kids running around. Perhaps you are happily married with kids, and you envision starting a ministry to transform your local community. How do you chart a course that will get you from point A to point B with intentionality and purpose?
The powerful tool I am about to share with you will equip you to bridge the gap from where you are now to where you want to go.
Even when I was a young teenager, I was a visionary. I remember deciding I was going to be an attorney. I was going to practice in Alaska and have beautiful homes in several different cities in Alaska. I loved architecture and literally had hand-drawn blueprints of the homes I would build. My favorite was the vacation home, which would be three stories tall and have a glass dome at the top for viewing the Northern Lights at night. Even though I had this grand vision, I had no idea what the next step was to becoming an attorney or making enough money to own those three homes! Do you see the problem?!?
The funny thing is, almost two decades later, I’m not an attorney and I don’t live in Alaska. And I certainly don’t own three homes (thankfully)! But along the way, I have discovered how to take the steps necessary to make your vision a reality. I have boiled it down to a very powerful life strategy tool that I call the Next2Now tool. If you seriously implement this tool, you will be a completely different person by next year. You will have taken great strides toward building something meaningful in a way that is completely foreign to the average person.
Your To-Do List
So, you’ve written your ideal obituary. It’s inspiring, moving, and motivating. But, it’s something that would literally take 50 years to build. Great! That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Are you overwhelmed by it? Let me take the overwhelm out of the overwhelm. It starts by understanding this one principle: You don’t need perfect clarity for your whole life. You need perfect clarity for this week and for today. As Greg McKeown stated, “To operate at your highest level of contribution requires that you deliberately tune into what’s important in the here and now.”
Be present in the present. Know what’s important to work on today and learn the skills necessary to move the needle on your long-term vision a little every day. How do I personally do it? I always work from a list. I use a note taking app on my phone to keep track of a running list of all the tasks that I want to do soon. That list requires more time than I have. So… I must prioritize so I can figure out what I GET to say no to. Remember my last blog post? You can’t do it all so don’t burn yourself out trying. We’re after sustained momentum here. We’re after small wins compounded over years and decades. Those small wins start with choosing to be intentional about your to-do list daily. But, how do you know that what you’re putting on your daily to-do list is worth your time? Well… let’s talk about goals!
Your Goals
Enter part two of the Now2Next tool: goals. As someone once said, “If you shoot at nothing, you’ll hit it every time!” Without goals, you’ll hit nothing…every time! Do you feel you’ve been hitting nothing? Do you feel like your life lacks momentum? Time to add some goals! I like the SMART goals model. Have you heard of it?
The biggest reason we do not reach our goals is not for lack of motivation – it’s for lack of clarity. SMART goals give us the clarity we need to break down the goals and accomplish them piece by piece from our daily to-do lists.
If your desire is to get married one day, you might set a goal of “get married in the next 5 years.” Ok, so you’re not dating/courting anyone and you have no prospects in sight. How’s that going to work?
Try breaking your vague goal down into multiple SMART goals:
These goals should be small enough that you can clearly see yourself attaining them but big enough that they challenge you. A good time range for these goals is 3-12 months. One of my favorite tools for bridging that gap from my 3+ month goals to my to-do list is a giant dry erase calendar my wife and I have on our wall. It is one of our most-utilized wedding gifts (has anyone else gotten a giant dry-erase calendar as a wedding gift ?!?). We’ll break down the progress we’re trying to make on our goals for the month and create a written plan on our calendar for the month. It’s an amazing tool – whether you’re a visual person or not!
Your Vision
Good job… so, you’ve started thinking about all the goals you want to work towards, but it suddenly hits you… “How do I know if they’re the right goals? Will I look back in 5 years and regret the goals I worked toward?” Glad you asked! Here is where Now2Next part 3 comes in!
You must know your vision. I absolutely love this part. It’s the part that can take me from giddy excitement to tears to sitting on the edge of my seat ready to jump up and conquer the world! You need to—in all the vivid detail you can—write your own IDEAL obituary! Yep, you heard that right. This would not be your obituary if you died today. It’s the obituary you envision for your life lived at its absolute best, pursuing God all out, using the gifts and talents He’s given you to the max, giving at your highest level of contribution, and maximally enjoying/investing in the relationships He blesses you with. What do you really want to do with your whole life? What drives you and moves you? What is the legacy you want to be remembered for long after you’re gone? The truth is, no man can truly live until he realizes he will surely die. If you want to explore this idea of creating a compelling vision for your life further, check out the story of Loren Hollingsworth, one of the most incredible Christian men I know!
Your Values
Ben, I’ve begun drafting my ideal obituary, but… “How do I know my life vision will be worthwhile?” That’s a good question. And here’s a shocking truth: you will pay for your life vision with your life. It better be worth the value of your life. A life vision well-lived is priceless. A life lived without vision is a tragedy.
This brings us to Now2Next part 4: values. The only way you will be confident building your life vision is if it is supported by your life values. Most people have never sat down to define and write out their life values. If you do, you will have more clarity than most people on the planet. Do you really want clarity and confidence in your life? Start here. This will really turbocharge you! Take time to think deeply and pray about this. What are the timeless things you value that you want your life to be characterized by? You want your values to be specific to you in a meaningful way. When you are solidly clear on your values, every other decision in life becomes easier.
Here’s a simple example set of values to jumpstart your brainstorming:
- I value daily fellowship with God
- I value the work of His spirit bearing rich fruit in my life
- I value the marriage covenant
- I value the family construct God has created
- I value God’s church and service that builds it up
- I value building up the community around me
- I value my personal physical, mental, and spiritual health
Identifying your values will transform your life. Failing to apply this part of the tool will leave your life without the clarity and confidence that it could have. Just learning about the power of identifying your values will do nothing for you. As John Maxwell so aptly said, “Knowledge is like paint. You only see the difference when it is applied.” Go apply this part of the tool – pray for clarity and go write down your values.
For Whom Are You Doing It All?
But, Ben… how will I know if my values are good values? In a confusing world where people tell you, “You do you… just be you,” can I know that the values I identify will stand the test of time? Glad you asked. This brings us to the very most fundamental part of the Now2Next tool. If you don’t get this part right, everything crumbles. Your values crumble, your vision loses meaning, your goals are empty, your to-do list is pointless. This is a big deal, so I want this to land with full impact. Are you ready? The only way to know that your values will stand the test of time is to know “for whom” you’re doing it all. Who are you even living your life for? Why are you here? Many American men would say they are here for themselves. Perhaps they wouldn’t say that, but their lives say it. You must get clear on whom you are here for. As Christian men, there is only One who should fill this space—our Creator and Sustainer, the Lord God Almighty. It is only when we are clear on whose we are and whom we serve that we can be confident that our values and vision and goals and daily activities will leave a life well lived.
I don’t read a lot of classical literature but there is a story that became emblazoned in my memory when I took high school literature years ago. It is the story of “The Great Stone Face” by Nathaniel Hawthorne. In a small New England town, a young man named Ernest grows up near a mountain with a remarkable rock formation resembling a man’s face. For centuries, this Great Stone Face has overlooked the valley like a guardian. Local legend predicts that a man whose appearance matches the face will emerge and become “the greatest and noblest personage of his time.” Ernest, drawn to this prophecy, hopes fervently for such a man to appear. One of his favorite pastimes is to gaze up at the Great Stone Face overlooking the valley.
Over time, several visitors come to the valley, each mistakenly thought to be the prophesied figure. As Ernest continues to age, his love for the Great Stone Face grows. He remains hopeful, waiting for someone to appear who will fulfill the prophecy. Eventually, Ernest realizes that the Great Stone Face itself represents the highest virtues of kindness, wisdom, and compassion. In the end, the locals come to see those virtues in Ernest and recognize him as the true fulfillment of the legend.
As was true in Ernest’s life, we become like the subject we spend our lives gazing upon. Ernest came to resemble the qualities exuded by The Great Stone Face. You and I may not have a Great Stone Face gently overlooking us. But, we can seek something greater—we can seek the face of God. This is my challenge to you: seek the face of God. Know that you are created in His image. Know that you were created to be His. Seek your Creator and His will. Align your life with what He desires for you. If you do, your values, vision, goals, and daily activities will reflect Him in a powerful way, and you will live a life well-lived.